I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
