Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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