You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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