there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
