FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
