Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
