So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
