Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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