i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
