I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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