did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
