During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
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