I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
