One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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