they need to just BURY HIM!
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
