is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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