he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
