Me. At least after what I've been through.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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