he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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