so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
