If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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