is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
