K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
ttyl tear gas
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just want nice things and good sex
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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