I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
