it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
