I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
