whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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