i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
