I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
