we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
