The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
