brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
