i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Operation Purity has been aborted
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
