I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
