ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
