You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
