He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
