Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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