I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
