i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I wish there were birth control emojis
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
