ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
