It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The beer is more important than you right now.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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