no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
