Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
