Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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