i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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