nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
