Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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