i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
