My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Never joke about your clitoris.
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